how not to get a job

so at the moment i am in the middle of two different job searches. one, i am looking for a new position for myself, and two, i am looking for someone to replace me. its interesting to be on both sides of the process simultaneously. i have a lot more empathy when i see that look in people's eyes that tells you 'i need this job.' i gain new ideas for my cover letters and resume with each application i read.

i've been interviewing people for 9 years now. it all started when i took a position as senior interviewer at clark university. i met with prospective students and talked with them about their goals, what they wanted in a school, and then answered questions. afterward i did a writeup that went into their application file. i have no clue what kind of bearing my thoughts had on their application, but i felt very empowered in the position nonetheless. since then i have sat on and chaired hiring committees, served as employee trainer-interviewer at a wilderness program, and took on the role of trainer-recruiter while working at the aspen achievement academy. i can't put a number on the amount of interviews i've done in these 9 years, but i'd wager its well into the high hundreds.

i like interviewing. i like job searching. i don't like the stress of wondering if i am going to get rejected, or the worry of crunching out yet another cover letter. i like having 30 minutes to connect with someone and let them know who i am. i like sharing my thoughts and philosophies. my inner narcissist thrills at a time when it is really all...about...me. since i enjoy doing it myself, and i've been involved with so many other people's processes as well, i have started helping others.' just this week i did two references, helped with two cover letters, and provided much-needed advice to a person who certainly did not have it together (and if you are one of the people i helped this week and you actually know me - i am NOT referring to you with that last comment).

i do have some tips for people on what not to do when applying for a job. these come from 9 years of experience with interviews, cover letters, and resumes.

from the archives:

• though its nice that you have hobbies, i don't think that 'adult magazine collector' is something you want to advertise to your future employer - unless you are applying to work for larry flint. i am not larry flint - i am less lecherous and female.
• i also don't recommend including history about your past lives in your cover letter. it's great that you were a medicine woman two lives ago, but i think things have changed a bit since then.
• please don't spend time trying to convince me you are not an illegal citizen right when you walk into the interivew. i am not the state of arizona.
• bursting into tears in a phone interview because i gave you some constructive feedback does not bode well for your ability to take direction.
• i do not recommend printing your resume and cover letter in rainbow font. it does not make you look creative and outside the box. it makes you look like a crazed LSD freak.
• please do not include the names of your kids in your cover letter. its nice you are a parent, but jimmy, joey, johnny, joshie and susan are not coming to work with me. i can learn about them later as i am sure you are going to come in with three cardboard boxes filled with pictures, art projects, and their baby scrapbooks.
• coming to an interview stoned and smelling of pot is a great way to get a job at a head shop. btw - i would never work at a head shop.
• punctuation, is nice only, when; put in the right - places.
• when i interview you on the phone, i don't appreciate it if you ask me what i am wearing. though in this situation the person was not trying to come on to me, it was still creepy.
• when writing a cover letter please AVOID highlighting things using ALL CAPS. i don't like it when people shout at me even in print.
• if you must put a picture on your resume please do not make it one of you in a bathing suit.
• i don't recommend that you joke about how our health policy can help you when you get crabs. it makes me want to take a bath in hand sanitizer once you leave the room...oh...and burn the chair you were sitting in.
  

i am sure i will have more as life moves along. its just nice to get these little reminders...to have faith in humanity...?

plagiarize this!

am thinking today about creativity per the radio west show i listened to yesterday arguing that we are, as a culture, becoming less and less creative. this came to me in combination with a ny times article about plagiarism and the internet and a recent foray into richard louv's 'last child in the woods.' what comes to me after experiencing these pieces touch upon three things 1) loss of creativity and imagination, 2) the impact of digital media on our culture, and 3) the question of how to foster important life skills while honoring technological advances.

if you are reading this you have in some way bought in to the immediate, accessible, intangible world of the internet. i know that i use the web on a daily basis to look for jobs, connect with friends, read the news, and research things. there are times when i find myself feeling a NEED for that access. instead of playing my guitar, working in my garden, walking my dog, i fold myself into this safe digital 'space' happily. i build virtual relationships (there are people 'in' my life i have not spoken to directly in years), read news as it come to me (often without depth of content), send my own thoughts into cyberspace (if you can call it a space), and even build a little frontier village complete with digital animals, crops and a family.

i can see how virtual reality cuts into my actual reality (thank you jonathan larson), and i try to be conscious of that fact. i don't think that is so much the case for the millennial generation. my younger cousins don't recall a time when mail did not come on a screen and where 'chatting' included a keyboard. if that is the way life is why would one divide their consciousness like i try to? kids don't play in the woods, learn the art of meaningful conversation, or understand how to verify facts. i can see why plagiarism has become fuzzy around the edges - our own reality has been ever so slightly drawn out of focus. if reality is not always 'real,' how can facts be?

there was a lovely editorial written about that ny times article arguing that if professors were to make paper-writing a process rather than an assignment they might have less cheating and more learning. i completely agree, and would take it farther to include the rest of life as well. there are so mant other places in life where we are no longer involved in process. food needs only a couple of buttons pressed to eat ('processed' replaces 'process'), conversations are reduced to 'gtg' or 'rofl' on keypads, and we all travel around in our cars, windows closed to the weather. if we all make a greater effort to get our hands dirty we might not see such a decline in creativity in schoolchildren.

i don't advocate the removal of digital technology from our lives. i love being able to call my friends at a moment's notice, write blog articles, read the paper without having to change the delivery address each time i move, and find recipes at the drop of a hat. however i do hope that people can come up with a way to maintain our actual reality and avoid getting lost in the virtual. the connection we can get with ourselves, others, and our planet is worth the effort!

now, if you will excuse me, i need to go back to reality.

other people's kids

spent a good portion of my day sitting at the farmers' market talking to people about the small community grants that wabisabi gives out twice a year. it was fun, i met nice people, gave out free lemonade, and stuck promo stickers on lots of little kids. i love farmers' markets. it's great to look the person who grows my food in the eye and hand them the money directly. the food is always so much fresher, tastier, and healthier.

however there was one thing i did not love.

she was small - perhaps 2 or so (i can never age kids properly) - and adorable with long curly hair and a jersey knit sundress. her shoes were pink, her hair tied in a bow to match. she had dark eyes, rosy cheeks, and a smile that warmed me. however the whole cherubic picture was ruined by the fact that she carried with her a 32 oz. bottle of lime, diet, coke.

now i don't have kids. i don't know what its like to raise them, feed them, clothe them. i have never changed diapers or lived paycheck to paycheck to make sure my kid is fed. i've not been up nights with fevers or wiped runny noses or chased monsters out from under the bed. i've never sacrificed my own needs for those of my little ones. because i have not done any of these things i question if it's even valid that i pass judgment on what anyone does with their own children.

but seriously. it makes me so mad.

there are so many other things that you can buy for your kid. you can get them juice, you can get them milk, you can run them water out from the tap. hell. i was giving out free lemonade - dump that shit and fill up with me! why on earth should anyone be giving diet coke to a kid that age? not only is that just awful, but to give her so much of it that the bottle is almost as tall as she is?

and the message that doing such a thing sends to your kid about health and what is good for you. this kid is walking around a farmers' market! it's the epitome of local, grassroots, healthy, and sustainable. what a ridiculous oxymoron. it made me mad like seeing parents stuffing their already obsese six-year-olds with more macdonalds.

but it does not stop there.

the mother came over to talk to me, got lemonade for herself only, and then we chatted for a bit. she seemed very kind. certainly i kept my mouth shut about her choice for her daughter...until the little girl finished her soda and tried to hand the cap from the bottle to her mother. her mother looked at her and said 'i don't want that - what are you going to do with it?' instantly the girl tossed the cap onto the ground.

and the mother let her.

she turned from me to walk away and i just could take it no longer. 'you forgot the cap' i called, 'it's on the ground right there.'

'oh, can you get that?' the mother asked. and walked away.

other people's kids. they are like that for a reason.

cliche

really obama? seriously?

i can't say as i have had the love affair with our esteemed president as many of my friends have. i am unimpressed with his position on gay marriage, dislike his stance on iraq and afghanistan, and generally think that he could do more to help people (yes, yes, i understand that congress plays a role in this too...see earlier posts on things i don't like about them). in the end i understand that i am not going to agree with everything, and i can applaud the things i do like as well, but today i certainly have a bad taste in my mouth.

with his approval rating at 44%, the economy not making the oft-predicted comeback, and his white house leaking like a BP oil cap, obama apparently has to defend himself. what's the best defense? apparently a good offense (and by good here i mean effective not actually worthy of positive note). embracing all cliche obama has attacked republicans, touted america, and cited patriotism to justify his choice to give the auto industry yet more money.

i get really really tired of people playing the patriot card. i know WHY people do it - it creates a division between oneself and the 'other' with whom one does not agree. calling someone unpatriotic (which obama did by saying that supporting the auto industry was a way to be patriotic) puts them into the 'other' category. the farther we can stuff our opponents into this box the better because it allows us to think of them as evil, wrong, and inhuman. now we can justify doing to these 'things' whatever we wish (thank you arbinger institute and clark university for bringing me two views on the same topic).

i think of rwanda

i think of the balkans

i think of pakistan and india

i think of 9/11

basic psychology, fear, denial, conflict, pain, hate...so many things come from choosing a heart at war, attacking, name-calling, killing, hurting. i know that what obama's use of nationalism is not as extreme, but it taps into the same narrative, the same path, the same way of making sense of the world.

if leaders are meant to unite the world does this mean that politics divides it?

assume crash positions

those of you who know me well understand that i have what can only be described as a mild obsession with buffy the vampire slayer (well...those of you who really know me well might describe it as more than 'mild'). the universe joss whedon created has long gone out of vogue with the exception of reruns late late at night. however, when things come up in my life i almost always find some kind of buffy analogy - a situation, a line, a plot twist - that helps me think about what is going on in reality.

this recent decision to enter into a job search is no different. i realized today that i have been living in what tara, in the episode 'after life' called 'assume-crash-positions.' tara was talking about a spell that the group had done to bring buffy back to life. it went well despite some hitches, and in the end the group had what they wanted for themselves - their friend back. tara used the 'crash-positions' metaphor to describe the feeling the group had about the huge risk they were taking. they were all poised for it to go wrong - tensed up and ready for the crash and burn. today i found in myself that same sense of impending dread...only after i had relaxed a bit.

some personal history is needed to understand why i might be all worried about this job search thing. my first job search after college was very painful. i applied to over 20 different jobs, was rejected by 18, and in the end earned myself a part-time position with smith college residence life. don't get me wrong...at least i ended up with a job, but i will say that the process of being rejected that many times was pretty upsetting to a girl who had only once before been told 'no' for something she'd applied for. during that two month period i lived out of my car in the clark university parking garage, writing cover letters at the library and showering in the gym. it was not a completely awful existence, but it certainly left an impression.

my next job searches were much easier. i'd learned i would survive rejection, and i had built up my resume in a way that made it harder for places not to notice me. i also had going for me the fact that i did not NEED the job i was applying for. as soon as i took the smith job my dad told me 'you have a job, so now you can look for one.' this bit of wisdom has helped me a lot as i moved on in life. i generally don't let go of one branch until i've found the next to swing to.

that was not the case when i got back from new zealand. wilderness therapy jobs were dried up as was my savings account. i lucked out landing the job i am in now - but jason has not. he has been working in wilderness therapy as best he can, but layoffs loom and we are looking for jobs in new places.

i still deal with the issues with my initial job search when i put together my resume and start writing cover letters. i worry that the resume is not good enough. i wonder what i should put into my letters. i have anxiety over whether or not i am going to get calls. i worry, worry, worry my days in distraction and my nights in insomnia.

this week i landed a couple of interviews. it felt good to hear from places and to know that even in this tough economy i might be competitive. i stopped frantically checking every university's job boards twice a day. i stopped having crazy dreams. i stopped feeling panicky. i just...stopped. in the end i realized i stopped doing and feeling a lot of things that i did not realize i was. i relaxed though i did not realize i was tense. i've slept better, laughed more, and done more fun things this week. i know i am not out of the woods so to speak, but i am realizing it will be ok.

how to do this without crash positions?

i wish i knew. i'd like to take on change without it being arduous, stressful, and anxiety-riddled. i know that there is always going to be some of that, but i also know that i should not have to live in crash position until things smooth out. it's not fun.

if you know how please let me know!

$1 million dollars...?

read this ny times article today about nonprofit salaries and how people in our government are withholding funding to one because the executive director is getting such a large salary. now i first read this with righteous indignation...how could someone working for a NONPROFIT make up to $1 million a year? moab is the mecca for nonprofits (more here per-capita than in the rest of the us), and i know for sure that no one is pulling in that kind of cash. this reaction is fueled by two of my own life filters, 1) no one needs to get paid $1 million a year for ANYTHING, and 2) its a nonprofit people, why on earth are they giving all that money to just one person?

but i did sit with it for a while and actually asked that last question i posed. in working for two different nonprofits of late, and doing support programming for many others, i am coming to realize that the term 'nonprofit' does not mean a bunch of beleaguered hippies in birkenstocks running around trying to fix people's lives. i already did kind of know that, but i live in the concrete places of life and it helps me to SEE it in action to get it. knowing that nonprofits are businesses, and understanding that it takes a freaking lot lot lot of hard work to run one, i began to piece together a much less biased view on the whole situation.

if you want to be the best you can be to serve the populations you choose to serve you need to be powerful, organized, connected, and efficient. these are important qualities for any organization be it nonprofit, for profit, sports team, church choir...you name it. if you are a national nonprofit with hundreds and hundreds of locations and thousands of employees, donors, and volunteers...if you get millions in government grants that you need to apply for, and if your business includes being connected to some of the most powerful people in the country to get what you want, do you want some neo-hippie fresh from the peace corps waltzing in at 10am with a goatee and a latte (ps i have nothing against hippies, peace corps, going to work at 10am, goatees, or lattes)? no. you want the best business person you can muster with all of the power, connections, fundraising experience, and executive skills possible.

if the private sector places the value of such an executive at millions a year, what is wrong with a nonprofit saying they are willing to pay $1 million for that person? if i am a ceo at some major corporation making millions why would i go to work for peanuts somewhere else? i know that you can say 'morals,' but consider deciding to take only one tenth or less of your salary to do the work you do. not so cool huh? yeah, i know that these people make way way waaaaayyy more that you or i probably do (and if not and you are reading this please help to fund this poor wayward blogger - i will provide an address to which you can send checks), but if the market for better or worse places a multimillion price tag on that kind of work, well i suppose that morals can lead a person to take $1 million instead of $10 million.

do we have to suffer for our morals? is it not possible for us to make a good, solid living and still help those in need? apparently the government does not think so, as they held up the funding for the boys and girls clubs over the executive's salary. though that is not the only place lawmakers have opted for this approach. the americorps vista program, aimed at eradicating poverty pays even less of the paltry sum they pay its non-vista volunteers in the name of having the participants live like the people they serve. when you look at it one way you could argue that perhaps lawmakers should live on the average salary of their constituents. then again, i imagine that like the nonprofit exec took a pay cut to go from private to nonprofit, the senator could make way more than a government salary if he or she opted to sell more than their morals and health care plans to the people.

but i digress. i do think that it is reasonable for a person who wants to help others to ask that he or she be well cared for whilst doing it. after all, if we are trying to fight poverty why would we require that the people who are choosing to work to end it live in it? it seems oxymoronic to me. not only that, but isn't an ally a person who is in the 'power up' position of some social dichotomy, yet opts to work on behalf of those who are in the 'power down' position? allies are important in enacting any kind of social change. it is just as important for whites to be against racism and heterosexuals to be against homophobia as it is for blacks and gays to fight for their rights. i do not in any way want to indicate that these groups can't create their own change, but just that it helps to have others in on the cause. and in the case of poverty, its really really hard to create a lot of change for yourself if you are working 60+ hours a week to make ends meet along with raising your kids. it takes money and energy to help out. nonprofits can get the money, and they need to use some of it to harness the energy necessary to enact change.

so though i still argue that no one needs $1 million a year for ANYTHING, i understand that i do not control the market value of things (oh if wishing made it so). so if a nonprofit needs $1 million to entice someone to come kick some ass and make things run well i say go to it. plus, if you want to place value on outcomes, don't you think $1 million is better spent on someone trying to help people in need rather than shareholders? perhaps this IS a better value than i thought...

the year of the bear

i've seen four bears this year in my travels. one, a huge, hairy, ass running from my car as i trundled toward a trailhead; two, another enormous bottom high-tailing it uphill from my dog on a hike; three, a sleepy-eyed baby munching on berries alongside the trail; and four, a lanky streetwise night stalker looking to empty dumpsters in estes park. each sighting was a thrill to my senses, a chance to tap into the depth and power of the bear totem, the wilderness, and my own inner self.

i have proclaimed it the year of the bear.

so you would imagine that i was disappointed when i walked 26 miles through the rocky mountain national park and saw nothing of bears. no scat, no tracks, not even a sign warning that hikers beware. it was not that we did not think on bears whilst out there. we carried the correct precautionary gear (BEARVAULT 500v!), did the requisite 70 paces for cooking and storage, and made sure we did not hike in absolute silence (though that would be nearly impossible for mandi and i). with bears on the mind one might think we would at the least see something to indicate that bears were out there - but alas. mandi was pretty glad not to have an encounter, but i left the woods wishing for just a glimpse of my spiritual brethren.

and i came out to no calls about jobs.

once again this is something on my mind. each day i comb the websites...craigslist, higheredjobs.com, college human resource sites, NASPA...you name it. i tweak and change and retweak my resume, write cover letters like joss whedon writes fantasy stories, and meticulously package and email off application after application. for the moment i am coming up an empty inbox and indicators for carpal tunnel.

if this is the year of the bear, what the hell is going on?

i could blame the economy, my own naivete, my insistence on returning to student affairs after a four year sabbatical, or my ability to bullheadedly burrow myself into things without thought of the endgame, but in the end i think it's more like my insistent search for bears. the bears i saw this year had their own agenda, i just ended up in the right place at the right time and boom - furry, fearsome, goodness. i found these bears with no expectation. they were a gift from nature.

it's not to say that i did nothing to end up with these sightings. i still had to get to the mountains, walk the trails, look the right direction, and SEE. however, i did not go out expecting to find bears, just to have an experience, however that might unfold. it's like finally deciding you are no longer going to search for love and then meeting THE ONE the following day. my job search must include all the essentials for finding my bear - i need to get out, go to the mountains, take a walk and SEE - but i can't rush it, can't push it, and certainly can't conjure something from nothing.

walk, breathe, experience, look, SEE.

it's still the year of the bear. i've seen more this year than i have total in my life. i imagine i'll see more if i let go. i suppose it's time to include that philosophy into other aspects of my life, hard as that might be.

it's the year of the bear - little ones included.