meditating on the middle

had an interesting revelation last night while singing at kiertan here in county. i have been thinking a lot lately about going for my phd and whether or not that is a good idea - if i really want it or not. my revelation came to me in the form of a medicine wheel. i thought about how the aspects of the self - mind, body, spirit, heart - are all present in all people, but that quite often we get 'tagged' with one or two of them as the aspects in which we excel. for example, i have been given such great feedback on the mind - school, problem-solving, creativity - people point these out to me regularly. second to that is body - sports, fitness, physical accomplishments. when you get lots of support in specific aspects of your life you tend to lean on those for self-worth and continued praise. what can end up happening is that you miss out on developing the other aspects.

so what does life do? eventually as you get older things start to even out. you get some feedback that demonstrates you need to improve on one of your weaker aspects...or perhaps you realize that you are missing something. for some people a seminal event occurs that creates a paradigm shift - an athlete becomes paralyzed or one has a near-death experience. when something like this happens a person is pressed to reshape their life and lean on new aspects that before was underutilized.

the vision i had of this process was one of a distorted circle. the circle is divided like a medicine wheel into four parts. the aspects of self represent the four directions. each person is born a perfect circle though nature, nurture, environment, and inner-self eventually lead for some aspects to contract while others expand. my circle would have an oddly-shaped protrusion in the mind aspect. the body might also be stretched. the heart and spirit would either be unchanged or even caved in. it's been easy to keep it that way, but slowly things press either in or out, trying to make me a circle again.

there are common phrases and ideas that touch on this topic. the first thing that comes to mind is the 'diamond in the rough.' a diamond needs to be polished and cut to be considered complete and valuable. diamonds with oddities and protrusions are not worth that much. another phrase is 'well-rounded.' clearly this one fits very nicely into my thoughts. it not only implies that a person is thought of well if he or she is multi-faceted but takes on the circle as a symbol for a complete being.

so coming back to the phd. i realize in many ways that i am not as interested in pursuing it as i thought i was. i feel drawn to improve some of the other parts of me. as we moved from song into our meditation i chose to meditate on the middle - pulling and pushing myself around so that i can 'circle up.'

PS...

will be using this blog to document my travels :)

leaving las vegas...ok, not vegas, loa

less than two months from now i will be on my way to a new adventure. leaving my job, the place i've called home for the past 3.5 years, and heading out to do whatever i want for a while in the US and NZ.

exciting.

scary.

god, i have not had this much leisure time in one chunk since i was 11!

this is just when i need to be doing this - oddly not when i have an alternative job offer (have turned down several since i came here) or when i am assured of some great spot in a phd program with a GA that sets me up for the time i am in school. no. it's when i have NOT A CLUE what i am going to do...no idea where i am going to go...and no real way to plan anything because i am going to be in NZ for the 3 months before i have to 'get a life' somewhere.

well...i wanted to come here and learn not to plan too much. wanted to stop worrying about 'what's next' and just be in the now. well it's now and there ain't much more to think about!!!

enjoying the idea and reveling in the void.

later folks...

l.b.

exterminator in chief

so am thinking about this whole obama killing the fly on tv and have come to one conclusion.

we are obsessed with famous people. so much so that we are unable to realize that killing a fly is not that noteworthy. i know - i do it all the time. this obsession leads us to think that people who are famous cannot do ordinary things. they don't kill pests or snore or watch tv or leave skid marks on their underwear. when famous people do these things what happens?

these things become famous.

and yes, i did watch the fly swatting action on youtube. it was funny. seeing famous people doing mundane things is funny. it's when they do the famous things that we all yawn and ignore them. no one really gets into a tizzy when a movie star makes a movie or a president signs a bill. these things are ho hum in their lives and therefore ours. we expect famous people to do those things and therefore it rarely makes front page news.

i suppose we all get noticed when we do the unexpected. i just think it's funny that we all do those things and expect that famous people do not.

he got that sucker.

mushroomhead - literally

heard about this on NPR today...mushroom name means 'drew's penis'

HEHE

http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/60-second-science/post.cfm?id=penis-shaped-mushroom-named-after-s-2009-06-15

summertime

so in honor of the fact that it has been raining and gloomy for the past 3 weeks or so i am going to start singing my summertime song. perhaps i can counteract the continual statement from all of the locals if you mention the weather:

"we need the moisture"

my garden disagrees.

we pick peaches and we make a pie
sit and eat it by the fireside
joking talking lauging feeling wild
summertime is like a happy child

playing kickball on the side yard lawn
running 'round with silly costumes on
drinking whiskey while we're shootin' pool
summertime is when we break the rules

dancing underneath the full moon light
nothing better on a friday night
pickin' strummin' with the violin
summertime it lets the music in

jumping off beside the waterfall
sticking toes in cracks to climb the wall
drinking homebrew while we're throwing discs
summertime is when we take the risks

i miss summer when in comes the fall
winter's cold and isn't for us all
spring is beautiful but just too sweet
summertime it really can't be beat

tumbleweed

another thought for the day.

tumbleweed.

it's a western icon.

and yet, it's an invasive species from russia.

what's really american after all?