can you really complain?
i don't think i can.
yeah i am working 50+ hours a week and planning on selling my car...but really i have to take a look at my wrist and remember that i put those words on it for a reasion.
love your life - be in the present - right now is all right.
when you work in places that serve people in need you end up getting a pretty healthy dose of perspective. it's not at all unwelcome. in the end i have a nice roof over my head, fresh, organic food, an amazing partner and the best dog ever. if someone were to ask me about friends i would say i have lots of them, and many of them are close.
i meet people who lack the money to feed themselves. i meet people who have been beaten and raped and treated like shit by those they were just trying to love. i meet people who have nothing. i meet people who live under the weight of racism, sexism, classism, and ableism. i meet people who have been in and out of hospitals for years. i meet people who have no one.
see what i mean by perspective?
so today i count my blessings. if you are reading this know that you are one.
22.5.10
15.5.10
retail-izations
when i was little i had a dream that i would be the first female major league baseball player. i moved on through a number of interesting and odd future professions: landscape architect, meteorologist, professional clarinetist, arabic translator...i hitched myself to the plan of the week and boldly surged forward until the next fad came my way.
honestly, i can't think of any time in my life when i wanted to work in retail.
i remember my friend marina applying for positions as sales associate (sorry marina if i got that wrong) as we closed out college. as in all things, we were on opposite ends of the spectrum - she wanted a job with a good salary working in fashion retail. i wanted to continue living on campus and playing educational games with students. it went along well with her love of diamonds (i was a fan of the 'engagement boat'), obsession with coach purses (i got my first real wallet at 28), and belief that she was a true princess (i showered twice a week on a good week). of course i wished her well and hoped she would land some great position - better her than me :)
so when i started working at wabisabi it was safe to say that i did not take the position because running a cash register put my panties in a twist. i wanted to get involved with an amazing organization, truly back up my beliefs when it came to sustainability, lean back on what i am good at - administration, and work on amazing and fun programs that educate and help others. in short, i was still chasing the dream i had when i graduated from clark eight years ago - not marina's.
but really. it works for me.
working at a thrift store is probably the only way to avoid the anaolgy "clare is to retail as oil is to water."
of course one of the things that helps is that this is not just another business. the money that we make goes back into the community instead of into some shareholder's pocket. every day i go to work i get to meet the people who benefit from our profits (should i call them that? it IS a nonprofit...eh, whatever). not only that, but there are some times when people come in from our parther organizations and we just give them stuff. talk about not buying into the capitalist system i'd avoid if it weren't so damn easy to take part in.
then also there is the fact that all of the stuff we sell is getting a second (sometimes a third, fourth...fiftieth) lease on life. i get to see things i donate go to new homes. because of wabisabi there is less waste in the world, and more wealth. people get 'new' items for much, much less. then they bring in the things they no longer need to be recycled back into the community. the whole thing breeds generosity as well as thrift and recyling.
but really i think the best best part is that each day working in the store is NEVER NEVER NEVER the same. though there are times when we see some of the same items again (matt actually tagged a kid's electric guitar today for the third time as it keeps getting redonated), each time i open a tub of items to tag and put out it's like breaking into a magical treasure chest of interesting things. clothes, toys, kitchen supplies - you name it. each item is unique and bears the signs and energies of a life well-lived. well...the old ones do anyway. we do get new stuff in too which i often find much less interesting. the net result of experiencing those bits of history is that one gets emotionally connected to the things that are in the store. by boss jeff and i were in town leaving a meeting when we saw a truck pass with a miniature recliner in the back. both of us had to smile and remark that we were glad the little chair, which had been in the store just that morning, had gone to a good home.
and i get to buy cute clothes without feeling guilty! after four years of carhartts, capeline, and hiking boots i embrace tiny tank tops, sun dresses, capris, strappy sandals, and jewelry jewelry jewelry!
the people are amazing too. committed to sustainabilty, lead interesting lives, and love to have fun! i get music, jokes, philosophy, bitch sessions, plans for worm farms, dancing, advice, stories, feedback, and much, much more. i thought when i left the field i would not be able to find another group of people to work with with whom i would have so much in common. then again i thought that when i left WSU as well...
i guess i should learn that history can repeat itself.
of course there are the quirks and pitfalls. one can go broke saving all that money! i find myself hanging all of my clothes left-shoulder out in my closet. i refuse to buy things i need new for fear they will show up at work the next day. i think jason is getting tired of hearing about the cool new item - be it fun talking pirate ship or sweet electric guitar - that came into work that day.
all in all it's a good gig. way, way more than i expected and, i imagine i have only seen the tip of the iceberg. clare realizes again that she can have it all and sacrifice nothing - she of little faith.
and marina...she teaches yoga these days.
go figure.
honestly, i can't think of any time in my life when i wanted to work in retail.
i remember my friend marina applying for positions as sales associate (sorry marina if i got that wrong) as we closed out college. as in all things, we were on opposite ends of the spectrum - she wanted a job with a good salary working in fashion retail. i wanted to continue living on campus and playing educational games with students. it went along well with her love of diamonds (i was a fan of the 'engagement boat'), obsession with coach purses (i got my first real wallet at 28), and belief that she was a true princess (i showered twice a week on a good week). of course i wished her well and hoped she would land some great position - better her than me :)
so when i started working at wabisabi it was safe to say that i did not take the position because running a cash register put my panties in a twist. i wanted to get involved with an amazing organization, truly back up my beliefs when it came to sustainability, lean back on what i am good at - administration, and work on amazing and fun programs that educate and help others. in short, i was still chasing the dream i had when i graduated from clark eight years ago - not marina's.
but really. it works for me.
working at a thrift store is probably the only way to avoid the anaolgy "clare is to retail as oil is to water."
of course one of the things that helps is that this is not just another business. the money that we make goes back into the community instead of into some shareholder's pocket. every day i go to work i get to meet the people who benefit from our profits (should i call them that? it IS a nonprofit...eh, whatever). not only that, but there are some times when people come in from our parther organizations and we just give them stuff. talk about not buying into the capitalist system i'd avoid if it weren't so damn easy to take part in.
then also there is the fact that all of the stuff we sell is getting a second (sometimes a third, fourth...fiftieth) lease on life. i get to see things i donate go to new homes. because of wabisabi there is less waste in the world, and more wealth. people get 'new' items for much, much less. then they bring in the things they no longer need to be recycled back into the community. the whole thing breeds generosity as well as thrift and recyling.
but really i think the best best part is that each day working in the store is NEVER NEVER NEVER the same. though there are times when we see some of the same items again (matt actually tagged a kid's electric guitar today for the third time as it keeps getting redonated), each time i open a tub of items to tag and put out it's like breaking into a magical treasure chest of interesting things. clothes, toys, kitchen supplies - you name it. each item is unique and bears the signs and energies of a life well-lived. well...the old ones do anyway. we do get new stuff in too which i often find much less interesting. the net result of experiencing those bits of history is that one gets emotionally connected to the things that are in the store. by boss jeff and i were in town leaving a meeting when we saw a truck pass with a miniature recliner in the back. both of us had to smile and remark that we were glad the little chair, which had been in the store just that morning, had gone to a good home.
and i get to buy cute clothes without feeling guilty! after four years of carhartts, capeline, and hiking boots i embrace tiny tank tops, sun dresses, capris, strappy sandals, and jewelry jewelry jewelry!
the people are amazing too. committed to sustainabilty, lead interesting lives, and love to have fun! i get music, jokes, philosophy, bitch sessions, plans for worm farms, dancing, advice, stories, feedback, and much, much more. i thought when i left the field i would not be able to find another group of people to work with with whom i would have so much in common. then again i thought that when i left WSU as well...
i guess i should learn that history can repeat itself.
of course there are the quirks and pitfalls. one can go broke saving all that money! i find myself hanging all of my clothes left-shoulder out in my closet. i refuse to buy things i need new for fear they will show up at work the next day. i think jason is getting tired of hearing about the cool new item - be it fun talking pirate ship or sweet electric guitar - that came into work that day.
all in all it's a good gig. way, way more than i expected and, i imagine i have only seen the tip of the iceberg. clare realizes again that she can have it all and sacrifice nothing - she of little faith.
and marina...she teaches yoga these days.
go figure.
8.5.10
there will be some turbulance upon reentry
i decided a while back that i wanted to go back to school and get myself certified to be a substance abuse counselor. i am ready to take the next step toward becoming an actual therapist, and, since i did not get into the Ph.D. programs i applied to, i have decided i will work on this aspect of my education while planning my next move.
it simultaneously hard and easy to get settled back into the life of academia. i started by trying to figure out how to take classes while remaining here in moab. my sources pointed to the university of utah, which was easy enough. i went online and found all of the certificate information, and worked on planning jobs and the like around a combination of online coursework and traveling to unknown locations for televised lectures. it seemed complicated and i felt a bit headachey setting things up, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.
of course that all fell through when i called the u and they told me they were discontinuing the online program. despite this setback i learned that utah valley university was taking over the distance learning program for the cert. instead of a messy program that included a lot of traveling i now could do all the work online. easy as pie. the application process also was a snap. i went onto the uvu website, filled out a form that took no more than 15 minutes, and paid a small fee. about 10 minutes later i received an email that informed me that i would get my acceptance letter in a couple of days.
once i was 'in' though things got a bit complicated. in order to get into classes i had to sign up within a traditional category of students: freshmen or transfer. apparently you can't sign up as a free agent, even to take one class. i chose transfer seeing as i have two degrees already. i also had to choose a major, but there was no option for certificates or the program i am going for. i picked behavioral health since it seemed the best option. what came of all this categorization is that i received an email telling me to find my advisor on campus and get set up for classes.
i called my advisor. no answer.
i called again. no answer again.
i called a few days later. still no answer.
i started to get edgy about things. figuring i knew a bit about colleges, i started browsing the uvu website trying to figure out who else i could talk to. the uvu site - not so informative. i did get a bit of luck in the form of a serendipitous locating of the course requirements for my certificate program - something i could not find earlier on. i learned that in order to take the certificate i had to complete several prerequisites including psych 101 and english 10. i felt ok with the psych course, but intro english? yeah...had to get out of that one.
i opted on calling people on campus. this led to a wild goose chase that sent me from phone tree to phone tree like a digital monkey. i could not for the life of me get through to a real person. i gave up and sent an email to student advising with a list of questions. what i got back three days later was a form message telling me i had to find my advisor and sign up for orientation.
my next round of calling went a bit better. i actually got real voicemails. i left a couple of messages and, only a day later, got back some answers. apparently my transcripts were not yet in, and i was being asked to go to my advisor's office to get oriented and given allowance to sign up for classes. again i called my advisor - and got through! however this was again trouble - because i was signed up as a transfer student in behavioral health i was not paired with the right person to get me settled into my program. i was passed along again.
i'll say this to you now. if you want someone in academia to help you out flash your creds. when i got through to the next person and started my discussion with 'i have a masters degree...' it was like the red sea parted. prerequisites were waived and i was immediately allowed to sign up for my one summer class - psych 1010.
i went online and registered before they changed their minds.
it simultaneously hard and easy to get settled back into the life of academia. i started by trying to figure out how to take classes while remaining here in moab. my sources pointed to the university of utah, which was easy enough. i went online and found all of the certificate information, and worked on planning jobs and the like around a combination of online coursework and traveling to unknown locations for televised lectures. it seemed complicated and i felt a bit headachey setting things up, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.
of course that all fell through when i called the u and they told me they were discontinuing the online program. despite this setback i learned that utah valley university was taking over the distance learning program for the cert. instead of a messy program that included a lot of traveling i now could do all the work online. easy as pie. the application process also was a snap. i went onto the uvu website, filled out a form that took no more than 15 minutes, and paid a small fee. about 10 minutes later i received an email that informed me that i would get my acceptance letter in a couple of days.
once i was 'in' though things got a bit complicated. in order to get into classes i had to sign up within a traditional category of students: freshmen or transfer. apparently you can't sign up as a free agent, even to take one class. i chose transfer seeing as i have two degrees already. i also had to choose a major, but there was no option for certificates or the program i am going for. i picked behavioral health since it seemed the best option. what came of all this categorization is that i received an email telling me to find my advisor on campus and get set up for classes.
i called my advisor. no answer.
i called again. no answer again.
i called a few days later. still no answer.
i started to get edgy about things. figuring i knew a bit about colleges, i started browsing the uvu website trying to figure out who else i could talk to. the uvu site - not so informative. i did get a bit of luck in the form of a serendipitous locating of the course requirements for my certificate program - something i could not find earlier on. i learned that in order to take the certificate i had to complete several prerequisites including psych 101 and english 10. i felt ok with the psych course, but intro english? yeah...had to get out of that one.
i opted on calling people on campus. this led to a wild goose chase that sent me from phone tree to phone tree like a digital monkey. i could not for the life of me get through to a real person. i gave up and sent an email to student advising with a list of questions. what i got back three days later was a form message telling me i had to find my advisor and sign up for orientation.
my next round of calling went a bit better. i actually got real voicemails. i left a couple of messages and, only a day later, got back some answers. apparently my transcripts were not yet in, and i was being asked to go to my advisor's office to get oriented and given allowance to sign up for classes. again i called my advisor - and got through! however this was again trouble - because i was signed up as a transfer student in behavioral health i was not paired with the right person to get me settled into my program. i was passed along again.
i'll say this to you now. if you want someone in academia to help you out flash your creds. when i got through to the next person and started my discussion with 'i have a masters degree...' it was like the red sea parted. prerequisites were waived and i was immediately allowed to sign up for my one summer class - psych 1010.
i went online and registered before they changed their minds.
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