shit happens

spent 8 days out on the east side of boulder mountain recently. was working in the field...again. the experience was not unlike deja vu, but included new students, new co-staff, and new hikes, so i guess one might classify it as a unique experience. in the end i shat in the same old holes, slept in the same old dirty clothes, and ate the same old meals out of coffee cans. i will say that it was beautiful - really really really really really gorgeous out there. i will also say that despite the student who collapsed sobbing face down into the dirt with his pack on his back (he recovered a bit muddier for the wear), and the frightening experience of being on top of a ridge in 3-count lightning (frightening might be an understatement), i had a really great time out there.

sitting at the country cafe wednesday night with the rest of the outgoing field staff i enjoyed a buffalo burger and a beer (ok - 3 beers) and the raucous hilarity that only can come from a bunch of adults pent up with teens for a week. to say that we were appropriately quiet, used appropriate language, or were at all appropriate would be a big fat lie. wednesday nights at the cafe are our time to let off steam about the week and cater to all of the whims of the id. its when we complain about our students, make dirty jokes, tell old tall tales of battle in the desert trenches, and plan our weeks ahead.

the whole experience only serves to add fodder to one of my ongoing projects. i have been collecting stories from wilderness, student affairs, and life in general to write book about working with other people's kids. at this point i have some great tales, a couple of really interesting chapter topics, and about 100 pages of text crammed into my tiny computer. i thought i might put out a few highlights from a chapter about shit - mostly because i think it's just funny! i mean, who does not enjoy a bit of bathroom humor minus the bathroom???

if you have any stories you think i have missed or would like to contribute please please let me know!

- superturd - a residence hall staffer gets called in to help deal with a log so big it won't go down the toilet. calling in the 'laser pee' technique and a couple of sticks from the yard, superturd is eventually vanquished.

- freshness guaranteed - wilderness student misinterprets the 'pack it in, pack it out' philosophy and seals more than his toilet paper up in a ziploc.

- poopytort - on a mission to locate a missing student, staff learn that tortillas can be used for more than eating.

- shit mitten - wilderness student digs up more than he bargained for.

- the phantom pooper - who's office will they hit next???

- tater turds - wilderness staff discover a little more than freeze-dried mashed potatoes when preparing for a meal.

- personal hygiene - a group of teenage girls come up with a way to avoid carrying their used toilet paper around...just don't use it. allow me to say that their hygiene technique was called 'the shimmy' and did not include wiping of any kind. by the time we figured this out the group had enough yeast to bake bread.

that's all i have for now. have really been enjoying turning these crappy tales into eloquent prose. hope that the list makes you laugh like it does me!